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Tuesday 6 June 2023

 October 2022


My Franck Tattoo

I  had decided to get a tattoo to mark the end of my time taking citalopram and the end of my time as a teacher. 







This was how I announced it on twitter after one of my friends on facebook sent a picture of it to the son of Franck Haise... that sent the internet slightly warm...



It didn't take long for the news to spread as the photo of my arm was shared and commented upon by all and sundry. Most of the comments and reactions were positive although there were those who didn't approve but then that's the nature of the internet. Although, Franck's son gave me a nice message after I explained the reasons behind the tattoo, I decided to put out the following post to explain my reasons to the world....



It's about depression...

This is hard for me to write but first off: I've got a tattoo. I decided to get it to mark the end of seven years (maybe more) when I haven't felt like the person I've wanted to be. My work has been a massive part of my life but a source of worry and self-doubt. I have also had so many great moments and worked with so many wonderful people (you know who you are). Howevewr, changing it after 31 years was the first stage of my journey to becoming a better person: more supportive to my amazing family and someone so much happier than my past self. The next step was to stop the Citalopram that had numbed me to my extremes of emotion: good and bad. Over the years, I've grown used to seeing life in grey and the colour has faded. I want the flashes of colour I have experienced to push out those greys and allow them to be the influence on my view of life. Whatever happens around us, there are many things that we can forget to appreciate, allowing them to get swallowed up by the general malaise that depression can force upon us. If anyone could want a better role model it would be my wife, Odessa. She's been a rock to me, encouraging me to take that first big step and putting up with my emotions that have begun to ping back and forth with a greater frequency since I reduced my dosage to zero. So why the tattoo? My trips to Lens have been an escape from my everyday worries (and believe me I worry about so many stupid and unnecessary things!). During trips, I would still miss the family but I felt I couldn't do them any more harm when I was away (mostly). Hence the club badge. The man is the current manager of Lens, Franck Haise, who has been a role model for this middle-aged man. A positive, calming and supportive figure on the touchline, he has managed the team to great heights that nobody thought possible and boosted the pride of a town that was in the doldrums. Every player he has managed has spoken of him in glowing terms. What better way to think of your ex-boss? This tattoo will be a reminder that my dark, medicated days can eventually emerge into light and colour. Despite the withdrawal weeks being difficult, the brainzaps are becoming less frequent and the lows are nowhere near as low: the light at the end of the tunnel is growing in colour. I know I am lucky to have a fabulous family who can make me laugh, cry and keep going in the darkest of days but for those people who don't, all I can say is keep going: there are people out there who can help. Give them a go: https://www.rethink.org/help-in-your-area/support-groups/ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/your-stories/online-support-groups-helped-me-when-no-one-else-was-there-for-me/ Don't be afraid to reach out and thanks for reading.

If my post was able to help one person, it would have all been worth it.

Monday 5 June 2023

 August 2022 - Lorient (h)


The day after the Rennes game was a Sunday and what a glorious day it was in Lens! The sun was beaming down upon a town that was top of Ligue 1, again. Thanks to Lens playing before the majority of the other teams, they could sit proudly for a few hours more with a near perfect points total of 10 / 12. 

Alex was heading home to York so I would have to fend for myself for the remaining three and a half days of my holiday. Thankfully, Pierre had offered me the use of one of his gites, which I gratefully accepted. 

A relaxed wander down to the local Patisserie was followed by the delightful sensation of freshly cooked pain chocolat melting / crumbling in my mouth. An experience I don't think I will ever grow tired of. 

I walked Alex into town to get his afternoon train back to Lille and on the way discovered a unique pub serving a local beef hotpot dish. It would have been rude not to have visited! Obviously choosing the chips option, the stew itself was made with a local beer and was so jam-packed with beef that we must have had a couple of cows each... not exactly good for our carbon footprint but hey, it was gorgeous!


The pub was decorated in the vintage-style of many local hosteleries. The centrepiece, a 1920s motorbike, was surrounded by various hommages to the era, including an interesting metal advert featuring a blindfolded young lady driving a motorbike with her smiling young man grinning as she drove sans-mains on the handlebars, presumably just before they plummetted to their triumphant ends. They certainly were different times!


My other favourite was the bikini-clad Vespa rider who was enjoying her holiday and showed no signs of donning leathers or, in fact, any kind of protection from being caked in dead flies as she flew along the road or dislodged tarmac being lascerating her. She didn't even have any shoes on! I was shocked... and that's coming from a latchkey kid of the 70s and 80s who was left to run wild! Those crazy French kids... blindfolds and bikinis... I'm sure they would have had some great stories to tell, if they'd lived long enough!


A leisurely walk back under the shadow of Terrils 11/19 took in the walkway and park that surrounded Louvre-Lens. The temptation to sit in the yellow or red deckchairs placed strategically next to the pond, proved too strong as ducks and a wide range of other wildlife frollicked across its surface. If only the miners of the past could see what had been created here... a veritable oasis in the midst of their town. 






After the hectic weekend I'd had, this was just what the doctor ordered. That night, I joined Pierre in watching Paris leapfrog over Lens into top spot. Marseille's 3-0 win over Nice also threatened to put a dampener in things but being 3rd was an amazing situation to find ourselves in... not bad for the 12th budget in Ligue 1.

For the next three days, I was the quintessential writer / videographer in recluse. I visited the Patisserie each morning, walked or ran, wandered, explored, wrote blogs and created videos from my base in the heart of town. Pierre popped by when work permitted: a thoroughly enjoyable few days that led up to the final game against Lorient.








Matchday morning continued in the same fashion, patisserie, breakfast on my little veranda...



... followed by a chilled morning packing the things I didn't need. Around about 3pm I ambled down to the town where the fans were starting to to appear. Despite there still being five hours to go, and a weekday, the matchday bustle was beginning anew. An early tea at La Loco, the usual, was followed by an hour people-watching with a glass of Ch'ti Beer in the sun. My friends soon started arriving and the usual conversations began: predictions, fears, hopes, transfer rumours. With hours to go to the latest transfer window, the big fear was that Sefo Fofana would be whisked away. 

The visitors, Lorient had started off strongly and I didn't feel confident that I would witness another victory. I didn't think tonight could top the emotions of Saturday night. How wrong I was to be proved. 

Yes, there were Pascal, Pierre, Yannick et al but no-one wanted to be more optimistic than predicting a 2-1 win, and when we heard the news that talisman Seko Fofana was not going to be playing, we feared the worst. He was being rested because he was being transferred for megabucks. Every possible destination was mentioned, including those new Northern moneybags, Newcastle United.

A nervy start saw the ball whizz past Brice Samba but the 'goal' was disallowed for offside, thankfully. Suddenly, Lens woke up and when the ball flashed across the visiting goal, there was the dependable Sotoca to sidefoot home. Four minutes later, Wesley Said doubled Lens' lead. Was this the face of the post-Fofana Lens? If it was, they were doing pretty well!
Within nine minutes, either side of half time, Lorient were level. Yet, the fans weren't going to let that get to them! Never missing a beat, the three standing tribunes roared the team on. New-boy Samed scored his debut goal. On the edge of the penalty area, the ball was steered back to him. He guided it out of the reach of the the flailing Yvon Mvogo to restore Lens' advantage. 

The drinks went flying and fans tumbling as new-boy Lois Openda, the replacement for Kalimuendo, tucked away the fourth; only for VAR to rule it out for offside. So it was up to stalwart Sotoca to flick the ball over Mvogo for the actual fourth before Openda skipped his way to the fifth. 
The Stade was overflowing with the joy of 38000 Ch'tis (and me). There were a few chants of "We are ze best" and "Allez Allez Allez..." then we were told to stay where we were. The floodlights were switched off and everyone's phones lit up. Thousands of mini-stars illuminated the pitch and tribunes... something big was afoot!

In true pantomime fashion, a picture of someone's phone flashed up on the screen. It was a message from Fofana!
"Lens Public, I have something to say to you..." it read.
"Ok, Seko, the best thing is to come talk to us at Bollaert!" the anonymous texter replied. "In the centre circle."
Was it goodbye? Thanks for the memories?
A table appeared in the middle of the pitch and two chairs. The rest of the players, obediently remained at the edge of the pitch as Seko marched into the centre circle, where President Joseph Oughourlian, super Franck Haisz and director Arnaud Pouille waited. 
As Bollaert held its breath, the drama unfolded... Fofana was signing an extension to his contract until 2025. On completion the captain was engulfed by his teammates and the stadium erupted once more. This had certainly topped Saturday!






From that moment, every single Lens fan had the broadest smiles as the celebrations went well into the early hours of Thursday morning. Espace Bollaert, the largest bar in the town, rocked to the supporter chants and they even sang of reaching the Champions' League. I suppose we can dream! And why not? 

The drums and trumpets rang out in Autumn's first morning but for the Lens fans, it was still summer. Third in the league, their talisman was staying and all was good in the world. Although my train to Lille would leave in a few hours time, I didn't care, swept along by the positivity that was growing in the little town that had stolen my heart. When a strange man you've never met declares he loves you as well as cats! What more could you want?

It was a bleary-eyed Englishman who took the bus to Lens train station, a few hours later, but a happy one. This last week had been my best ever trip. What would the rest of the season have in store?

And what could I possibly read on the way home?



I'll stick with L'Equipe....


Watch the video here.