The fitter and the tiler installing our new kitchen both knew who Lens were and how well they were doing. Of course the questions always started with "How come you ended up supporting them?" to which I would reply, "Its a long story."
We had decided to wander behind the visitor's goal in the hope of enjoying the second half Lens fightback; and be nearer the exit when the Uber arrived. Although, the second half improved, there was to be no joy this time around and it was Anderson who kept Lens in the game with a smart save. The only success for us was that we would be able to play 'Where are the Wallies' after the match.
Thauvin jinked into the box and was dissappointed to see his shot skim the crossbar. Lens were ablaze with confidence and imagination... just lacked more goals. In the end, 1-0 was enough and a new Lens record for consecutive Ligue 1 wins had been achieved. Was this team better than the Seko Fofana group that narrowly lost out to Paris a few years ago? Although lacking in footballing characters, this team was showing France the true meaning of togetherness. Paris had lost the likes of M'Bappe and then won the Champions League the following season, so maybe this was the way forward for Lens. 
For once, we'd been able to plan this trip as a two night stop thanks to the unusually forward thinking of Ligue 1's fixture committee. This meant that we didn't have to take the Monday off work: not that there was a whole lot of gardening to be done in January.
I met Alex at Kings Cross. He was actually waiting for me as I got off the train which was a step up from the previous visit when he promised me a fry up breakfast and then met me at St Pancras having already enjoyed his. Admittedly he had already had his fry up this time but I was quite happy with a McDonalds breakfast in the time available.
Lacking inspiration for the Johnnie B photo, I just decided on an old classic: everyone looking for inspiration and finding none. For once this wasn't the case with Lens.
Tonight's entertainment was to be provided by Ligue 2 Dunkerque v Pau. With both teams just below the playoff positions the prospects of a competetive match looked good.
A short walk into town was broken up only by a polar bear attack. A much better alternative to Lille's shipping containers. Thankfully he realised he wasn't going to get much meat from eating me so we were able to hurry away.
We met Jérémie in a small sports bar that had wall-to-wall screens. He invited us to join in with his drinking of 10% Corsaire beer. It would have been rude not to. It was rather nice and we were certainly in a good mood when we headed to the ground.
Dunkerque's Marcel-Tribut stadium certainly did the job. A modern, sleak, 5000 seater stadium, it boasted a DJ outside entertaining the masses as they queued to get into the ground but we were too old for all that nonsense so headed straight in for a pretty tasty hotdog (but no chips) and a surprise beer from Jérémie.
A small group from Pau looked lost in their (relatively small) away enclosure while the rest of the stadium created a stirring atmosphere. I had been told to expect songs from the upcoming Carnaval by Pascal. I'm not sure whether the Dunkerque equivalent of Les Corons would be sung at the Carnaval but it was certainly well observed by virtually the whole stadium. Jérémie informed us it was called "La Cantate á Jean Bart".
A ballad in honour of Jean Bart who was supposed to have saved France from famine at the battle of Texel. The story goes that Bart, in charge of eight French warships, sailed to rescue 120 grain ships captured by the Dutch during the Nine Year War. We were impressed how impeccably it was sung. There was a real community feel to it all and endeared me to the club straight away.
Pau were feeling very generous too, as their keeper passed the ball straight to Dunkerque striker, Thomas Robinet. He finished confidently then slid towards the home fans on his knees. Soon after, a neat passing move ended up with a goal for Anto Sekonga, who took the ball in his stride before toe-poking the ball into the bottom right hand side of the goal.
Applauding the goal, we were interrupted by a lad with a baguette sandwhich who asked us if we had ordered it. The guy next to us piped up that he had before cheerfully munching on it. Food ordered to your seat? "What sort of witchcraft was this?" we wondered whilst thinking what a great idea that was!
Another half strike from Sekonga in the second half sealed the win for the home side, despite a late consolation for the eight Pau fans, who had travelled up from the deepest South of France.
Dunkerque had been an extremely pleasant start to our weekend, we decided, as we wandered back past the harbour to our hotel. We managed to sneak in for last orders at a bizarrely decorated friterie: not often you get to meet Elvis and the Haribou bear in the same place.
On the way to the train station, we were able to admire the street art that we had bizarrely missed the previous evening. Dunkirk: we were very impressed: a town with some crackingly quirky architecture and art.
Lens women v Strasbourg women
The Lens lasses had been promoted to the top table, finishing second to Marseille on their head-to-head record: a 1-0 win for Marseille proving to be the deciding factor the previous May.
They were finding life with the big lasses very difficult. A fantastic opener against PSG women at Bollaert saw 10000 roar them to a 1-1 draw with a late equaliser from Sherly Jeudy. Unfortunately, when the dust had all settled, Lens had fielded an illegible player and Paris were awarded the game 3-0. After that, they began a run of defeats and a descent to the bottom of the table. Their first top flight win came in December against St Etienne (1-0) and this was followed by a draw and a win to lift them out of the relegation zone. By the time it came to our visit, they were still just above the relegation zone.
We were hopeful, after a battling performance had seen them lose only 1-0 at leaders Lyon: who had a 100% league win record and had beaten the Lens femmes 8-1 in October. Today's opposition, Strasbourg, would go second if they won, so not an easy game.
Another early start for our intrepid duo meant we had travelled from Dunkerque,checked into our hotel in Lille and managed to get to Avion with an hour to go before kick-off. Not bad after our Corsair fest the previous night. Sadly, the hope that there would be anything substantial to eat at the ground proved unfounded. A small, but tasty, croc-monsieur would have to do, washed down with a very agreeable La Chouffe, which, according to their website was very good with veal, chicken or veal. No mention was made of processed ham or cheese. You can't have it all!
We were going for a double today. The women were playing at 14h and the men 17h, which would mean we would have precisely one hour to get across town after the women's game before the men kicked off.
Whether it was a good thing or not, we decided the best option was to order an uber to accomplish the task. This not only represented the first time I joined the youth, and not so young, of the day, in ordering an Uber taxi but it was a massive step into the 21st century for me. Somehow, with Alex's assistance, I managed to complete the task and an Uber was ordered for 16h. We could relax and enjoy the game.
Considering the closeness of the two Lens matches, there was a decent crowd in Avion. Jérémie had decided that it wasn't worth abandoning his pre-match routine for the women so we would see him later.
Although the first attack ended in a wayward header from Lens' Tess David, it was Strasbourg's Ines Konan who held off Lens defenders before slotting home under Lens' American keeper, Maddy Anderson just before half time. Up until that point the Lens lasses had struggled to make an impression going forward but looked pretty solid in defence.
With the game petering out, the message came through that our Uber had arrived so with a quick farewell to all our friends we had made around us (ie none), it was outside to find the Uber and head for Stade Bollaert.
With the match-day traffic crawling towards le Stade, we jumped out, after we'd paid of course. The driver's eyes lit up when I handed him the €50 the cashpoint had given me, for a €20 fare.
We did give him a tip; just not €30.
Lens men v Auxerre men
We had an astounding 30 minutes before kickoff so there was time for Alex to show me the plaque he'd paid for outside the Marek.
What a proud lad he was! The only dissapointing point for me was that it would only be there for a few years. Newcastle had done the same thing but in the form of mini floor-tiles, outside the Milburn Stand. Sadly, they had now been stood on so many times some were becoming hard to read. Exposed to the elements, would these boards outside the stand entrances fade away? Maybe that was why they weren't permanent. Either way it was another way to get the fans' money. I would never know the pride of seeing my name on either stadium... I was too tight to pay!
The size of our Croc Monsieurs in Avion meant that we needed some sausage action straight away. Into The Marek without any difficulty we headed past the crowds around the automatic beer dispensers and the various other drink stalls to the far end end, where two fricadelles sandwhiches were waiting unknowingly for us. Still no chips though: the sad price of our hectic footballing merry-go-round.
It says something that I now know where to find Jérémie in the Marek and then soon after Pierre and co bustled past us with the Racing Old Boys flag that was based on the the Championship winning shirt in 1998. His mum had been beavering away with a group of her sowing circle for months, sewing, undoing and resewing until the flag had passed the group's high standards. I remember seeing photos of the flag in its construction and the 'flag committee not being happy with the distances between the stripes. The poor sewing committee were asked to unpick parts of it to satisfy the exacting demands of the flag wavers. I know if that had been my mum, she'd have told me where I could have shoved the flag.... and pole for that matter.
Needless to say, David was carrying it on his extendable flagpole. They breezed past us, returning our "Bonjours" , like we were part of the regulars: I took that as a compliment. Once they recognised us, there was a more welcoming greeting.
One thing we'd been warned about was that the Kop was having another strike in protest at some of the Ultra groups getting banned by the club for naughtiness in letting off flares. Thus, for 15 minutes, the kop was relatively silent. Some joined in with Le Lensois, Lens' reworking of the French national anthem but all was calm. The Delacourt and Trannin groups gainfully carried on until the 15th minute when the Ultras decided the match had started. After that it was business as usual.
The business was trying to get a record eighth straight league (10th league and cup) victory to leapfrog over PSQ into the giddy heights of top spot in Ligue 1. It was all extremely surreal having basically consigned this season to mid-table obscurity (something we'd have been delighted with in the dark days struggling in Ligue 2) to suddenly rubbing shoulders with the French aristocracy of Paris and Marseille. No-one was taking anything for granted. David's flagging-waving arms had grown tired and as half time approached he lowered the Racing Old Boys flag.
There wasn't much to say about the first half... six shots in total from both teams and only one home shot on target. The highlight for me was trying to work out what was on the back of Pierre's retro Lens jacket: I'm still none the wiser and I studied it for quite a while.
The second half was a complete contrast as 16 shots flew at the visiting goal with only two in reply. It was real pinball in the Auxerre box as Lens players took it in turns to blast the ball goalwards only to be blocked by desperate defenders. Finally, Malang Sarr collected a clearance to cross perfectly for Super-Wesley Said to control the ball with his chest before slamming it past Donavan Leon in the visiting goal. Their players complained he'd handled the ball but the referee wasn't having any of it and neither was VAR. Said's fitness was not an issue this season, for once, and that was demonstrated by his ever-present position in the team and also his eight goals and two assists. Whatever Sage was doing to keep him fit, it was obviously working : just when Lens needed consistent strikers.
The Old Boys Flag was dutifully unfurled and raised as the team celebrated with the fans, this time under the stewardship of Yannick.
There was just time for a fricadelle and frites, at last, washed down with a beer afterwards with everyone at Chez Muriel. We were delighted to hear Chez Mu would stay open for the rest of the season as a new owner was found, Muriel putting her retirement on hold. This legendary part of Lens' footballing history would remain for the foreseeable future. If only I could win the lottery...
We were soon dashing off to catch the last train to Lille, on which we were entertained by a group of Lens and Auxerre fans singing their way back into enemy territory. For now, they had plenty to shout about. Top of Ligue 1 still seemed unbelievably crazy but there it was in the next morning's L'Equipe so it had to true.
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