August 2023 Manchester United v Racing Club de Lens

 English football and Lens had always been separate entities to me. I had always been amazed by the tales from my Lens friends of the European adventures of the 1990s and 2000s. The one tale that they would come back to time and time again was Lens' win at Wembley. Every one of my friends had been there as Debeve slid in to give the Frenchmen a 1-0 win and earn his place in French footballing history. Coincidentally, my best man and best friend at university were there that night as Arsenal season ticket holders. The former enjoyed it as a spectacle, while the latter, allowed it to fester in him. Even though arsenal went on to win 8 FA Cups and 2 Premier League Titles, that evening remained engrained in his memory: an irritation that these Frenchies had come up trumps against his Arsenal. 

When Lens qualified for the Champions' League, for the first time in 21 years, all these memories were rekindled. Thanks to a belting end to the season, Lens had finished second in Ligue 1, only one point behind Paris. Although, they were always playing catch-up, Lens' run-in to the end of the season was nothing short of miraculous. Only a 3-1 defeat in Paris stopped them overtaking the moneybags from the French capital. The downside of this great form was that the vultures had started circling and a number of Lens' key players were being targeted. Throughout the Summer, Seko Fofana, Lois Openda and Kevin Danso were being linked with all manner of clubs. In the end, Lens fans were dismayed to see Fofana depart for big wages (rumoured to be well over £15 million a year), but a relatively low transfer fee, to the Saudi Pro League. Openda headed to RB Leipzig for a big money (for Lens) move - €45 million. Bonkers money being paid for Lens players was becoming a regularity. It was extremely easy for fans to become a touch  blasé with all these eye-watering amounts flying about. 

A number of players were brought in to replace them... mostly young and inexperienced in respect of  the Champions' League and some of Ligue 1. Andy Diouf arrived from Rennes, after a season-long loan at FC Basel, Morgan Guilavogui from Paris FC, Neil El Ayanoui and Oscar Cortes arrived from Millonarios in Columbia. The last deal was probably brokered because Millonarios and Lens shared the same President and owners: just a couple of the clubs Joseph Oughourlian, Lens' President has shares in or owns: a sad state of affairs that is creeping into the professional game. Lens, Chelsea, Manchester City and others found themselves being part of business portfolios of football clubs owned by rich individuals or organisations. Is this really for the benefit of the game?

For me, when the fixture at Old Trafford was announced, I had to make the grown-up decision to bow out. Odessa and I were off on holiday in France so I wouldn't be going. There were no screaming tantrums or holding my breath until she said we could cancel our holiday... no I accepted that it was not to be, in a manner befitting a 53-year-old man (I just swore a lot... no... honestly, I didn't!) 

As it turned out, our camping holiday hit storms half way through and so it was a unanimous decision that we would wimp out and come home. It really was unanimous. I didn't even mention the impending Lens fixture! On our last night, the wind shook our little tent about. I ran in and out of the tent vainly repositioning tent pegs shaken out of the sandy soil; getting soaked in the process. The prospect of worse to come only firmed up our thinking on the subject.  After slipping back inside the tent, weaving in and out of the growing puddles, Odessa must have taken pity on my soaked form. With a loving look she uttered the fateful words: "You can go to Manchester when we get back!" I played it cool, not wanting to take too much delight at our vacational misfortune. "Are you sure?" I replied, giving her the chance to change her mind but she didn't. 

The only thing that surprised her was the speed with which I was able to book trains, register as a member of Manchester United's ticket office and purchase my dream ticket. I would be able to go to the ball after all!

It certainly made the torrents that beat us the next morning, as we pulled the tent down and drove back to St Malo for our rearranged Ferry to Portsmouth, a lot more bearable.

St Malo... not the hotspot we had hoped it would be.

Matchday

The Summer storms that had battered the whole of France were but a memory as I tried to dodge the downpour on the way to Whitley Bay Metro. Thankfully, my packed lunch was safe from the weather's saturating effects. Not being able to work for the last three months, thanks to an open surgery operation on a double hernia, meant I had to make savings somewhere. It also meant no vigorous bouncing at the match: always a price to pay!

I was off to meet Pierre at the Airbnb he had hired for the weekend. When I got there, I was amazed to find that he had hired out, what must have been the penthouse. The flat he and his daughters were staying was enormous and also looked like it should be the cockpit of Captain Nemo's Nautilus (had it once been the area above the altar?). A development in a former church, it certainly was an advert for Britain turning Secular and selling all its churches to property developers. Don't worry I'm not turning into a Tory, but it was an amazing property.

The great man himself! Who wouldn't worship that shirt?

You forget what a great feeling it is when you walk to a football ground. Every corner and turn introduces you to more fans and the growing buzz is intoxicating. It's especially invigorating when different accents are mixed with languages and this made more excited for the coming season and the prospect of Lens maybe being drawn in the same group as an English team. All those years ago, it had been Arsenal and that had turned out well: a 1-0 win at Wembley being the talking point for so many fans. They were all there that day, but then there had been 6000 away fans.

One of Pierre's bugbears is that nobody at Lens seems that bothered about erecting statues to their former greats. English clubs seem to have taken it as their mission to erect as many as possible, even Newcastle have 3 (Sir Bobby Robson, Alan Shearer and Jackie Milburn) and Arsenal apparently have them coming out at you from every angle! Old Trafford is no exception. 

It would have been rude not to!

Photoshoot over with, it was into the ground, and my first visit to Old Trafford since the late 1980s and a 1-4 New Year's Day defeat. It had changed a bit, although the terracing I had stood on, behind the goal to my right, was now all seats! 

That day, the patches of Newcastle fans on the terrace had gone mad when Darren Jackson (who I often got compared to because I was skinny with lots of dark bushy hair) put us ahead. It wasn't long before the floodgates  opened (an own goal from other Jackson (Peter), Norman Whiteside, Jesper Olsen and Frank Stapleton). The scoreline had actually flattered the home side but isn't it usually the case with these 'big' teams... the 'minnows' such as Newcastle (and Lens) can play well but make one, or four, mistakes and you're leaving with your tail between your legs. I was just happy to be here, I told myself.

Alex and Adrian were bringing their kids along for their first ever Lens experience so we had bought tickets at the back of the standing area. Rather irksome for me was the need to join the Manchester United database, giving all sorts of details that I didn't think they needed to know (inside leg measurement?). But needs must. 

The security guard at the back of the away end took it all in his stride that there should be a group of English Lens fans. I don't think he had anything to do all afternoon as the fans at the front jumped around and amused themselves. 

What a nice guy!

The away went through the full Lens setlist and there was great delight when new Manchester United goalie, Onana, was caught completely out of his goal by the deft Sotaca. His shot from just inside the home half drifted over Onana's head and into the net prompting great delight below us. The event missed the kids completely as they wondered why their dads had stopped trying to entertain them and were leaping about like loons. Normal service was resumed as Alex and Adrian returned to their fatherly duties. Matt and were enjoying ourselves immensely, however and there was a big part of me wishing I could be down at the front of the 'safe standing' area joining in with the festivities. 

We rode our luck when new £55million signing from Chelsea, Mason Mount, completely airkicked at a cross but at half time we were still leading. Unbelievable!

Soon after half time, however, three goals in 11 minutes proved our undoing. Rashford, Antony and Casemiro putting us in our places. 

Down below us, the Lens fans were still having a ball. They bounced, crowdsurfed, swayed, congaed and generally enjoyed themselves throughout the second half, earning great respect from the silently bored home fans. If only they knew how much these French fans had admired their British counterparts in the 70s, 80s and 90s. Now the Europeans were giving them a lesson in how to enjoy themselves. What has happened to British football fans over the years? My money is on aging crowds caused by high ticket prices and other things the youth of today likes to do. What will the British football grounds of the future look like if they don't manage to get the youth back? Yes the attendance today was 70000, with an average age of 52, but what about in 50 years time? I don't expect I'll be around to witness it, which is a rather sobering thought. Will Alex and Adrian's kids still be attending matches then? The British Premiership doesn't really care at the moment because it has loads of oldies and the big clubs have the tourists. But neither of those will restore the lost atmospheres of the past. 

Thank goodness for Lens fans!

The final score had been 3-1 to Man United but the fans score was 6-0 to Lens. That was the most important one!

There was one final treat for me, after bidding farewell to Pierre and the others... a ride on a Manchester Tram! How much of a sad and dull old man am I? Answers on a sealed envelope with a stamp addressed envelope to prove me right. I'll reply in 28 days!